Monday, March 23

Sweet Sixteen Update: Death Match-ups #3

So, my mascot fighting system was an abject failure. Ultimately I didn't take into account the fact that some teams suck despite how good their school's mascots are. I guess I'll have to take that into account from now on. I also underestimated the awesomeness of 7 foot tall anthropomorphic Cardinals with hands. So Louisville... I'm impressed.

Anyhow, I'm going to play this joke until it is killed in it's own death match.

Louisville 7 Foot Tall Bad-Ass Anthropomorphic Cardinals VS. Arizona Wildcats.

Come on, they're 7 Foot Tall Pissed-off Cardinals. Of course they win.
PICK: Louisville Cardinals

Kansas Jayhawks VS. Michigan State Spartans

Well, they're still Spartans, the toughest survivalist soldiers in the history of the world. And they're playing against dopey blue birds.

PICK: Michigan State Spartans

UCONN Huskies VS. Purdue Boilermakers

UCONNs are doofy looking dogs fighting trains. Since the doofy looking dogs already beat a freaking Mockingbird driving a train, a plain old human conductor driving a train should be no problem.

PICK: UCONN Huskies.

Missouri Tigers VS. Memphis Tigers

They're both Tigers. Can I call it a draw? No? I'll go with the Memphis ones, just to be a contrarian.

Pick: Missouri Tigers

UNC Tarheels VS. Gonzaga Zags
I love the bad-ass angry Rams in this one. The Bulldogs are pretty mean looking, as far as college bulldog mascots go. But Satanic Rams have what look like stainless steel horns coming out of their heads. And they're angry. Awesome.


Villanova Wildcats VS. Duke Blue Devils
They're satanic and they have command of sheets of blue fire and they have tridents. Wildcats are just mean and crazy. I have to go with the Satan's ability to field great college basketball teams.

PICK: Duke

Pittsburgh Panthers VS. Xavier Musketeers

These particular Musketeers took down Vikings. So they're proven bad-asses. And they have swords AND guns. I think they can beat a batch of panthers.

PICK: Xavier Musketeers

Oklahoma Sooners VS. Syracuse Orange

I will continue to take the field against a random color and a beach-ball headed guy in a sweater. In this case we're talking about tough-as-nails settlers versus beach-ball heads.

PICK: Oklahoma
Final 4 Predictions -- Based purely on awesome Mascots I have to go Huskies, UNC, Musketeers and just because they're Spartans... The Spartans.

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